Officially in the Itty Bitty Titty Committee

I'm trying to bring humor into this journey by referring to my experience as the title of this post. This is clearly not your typical travel post but this is still part of my Everlasting Voyage so you're either with it or not!

​I'm not sure if I have any men who read my blog posts but you're more than welcomed to leave if this makes you feel uncomfortable or disinterested in reading but if you have a loved one who may be in a similar situation, keep reading!

If you Didn't Know Already, I got a Breast Reduction... In Germany

Yup, and I'm talking about it on my blog as a way to "let this out" as I haven't talked much about it and also, in case anyone in my situation would want to hear more about my experience or maybe I can help answer some questions you may have.
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This is a huge deal for me and I haven't really told many people because really, how do you bring up the conversation? "Speaking of which, I'm getting a breast reduction" is awkward for me, reason being because most of my teenage and adult life, my breasts have mostly been looked at as a sexual feature of myself.

I've been referred to as the girl with the "big boobs" countless times causing attention in the ways I never wanted. The first place most people look at, to include woman, is my breasts and believe it or not, just because I had big breasts, several people had rumored that I was a slut and how bad I wanted attention. That is so far from the truth, but you know, humans.

On March 23, 2018, I went under the knife to go back to my bra size from when I was maybe 12 years old - 36C (US size). This year I'll be 28 years old so to say this is a huge adjustment is an understatement! When I was 21 years old, I was probably in the middle of the sizes 36D-36DD and I was about 117 pounds. My body was disproportionate if you ask me.

Over the years, I gained and lost weight but my cup size continued to go up and with that came the neck, shoulder, and especially the back pain. The pain I felt in my back and in my shoulder blades were very piercing and sporadic. It didn't always happen, but when it did, it hurt!

​When I was 22 years old, my husband was deployed overseas and I heard that the insurance I had through him could possibly cover a breast reduction to its entirety. At the time, I had Tricare Standard and once I inquired about it, I was discouraged as I was "too young" and "don't have children yet". Which, alright, I can see why an insurance entity would say this to me due to the consequences of undergoing this type of procedure. But here I am, as mentioned, soon to be 28 years old, and I still don't have any kids.

​After learning about a colleague of mine going through Tricare insurance for a breast reduction, she made it seem all too easy and that I could most definitely qualify for the surgery.  In October of 2017 was when I decided I was going for this and I was determined to finally receive relief.

What I knew and What I Didn't Know About the Results of the Surgery

Right off the bat, I already knew that it was possible that the breasts could grow bigger, especially during/after pregnancy. I also knew that it would be possible that I would lose sensation in my nipples and have a far less chance of successfully breastfeeding if or when I decide to have children. Lastly, I knew that it would hurt and I would be recovering for some time. 

Of course, with any type of surgery, there are possible side effects, and risks of complications. Here's what I was informed of the day before the actual surgery (leaving me minimal time to reconsider): Something that may happen, which I hear is more common than the other complications is the possibility of blood clots. My surgery was 4 hours long so being on the table that long and then having to continue to lay down can cause blood clots. The doctor mentioned in a very rare case, thrombosis could cause a life-threatening disorder of coagulation. 0_0 Another common issue could be catching an infection but that's usually based on how you're taking care of yourself and recovering. 

Something I hadn't thought about but quickly discovered was that I wouldn't be able to drive for a while. I am unsure of how long, I supposed everyone is different but I know I definitely cannot drive right now at one week post op. I probably won't be comfortable driving for the next few weeks. Currently, sitting as a passenger can still be a nuisance because of the seat belt and driving over any bumps or taking wide turns quickly (thanks husband).  

A few other cases of complications could be skin tissue or nerve damage, allergy/hypersensitivity/intolerance of the medication or anesthesia and in the far more rare cases would be brain damage or organ failure. 

This surgery is no joke but depending on your medical history and/or conditions, this procedure may still be worth it for you if this is something you're considering. 

The Experience with my Insurance - Tricare Prime Overseas

As I said, the first time I tried with Tricare, I had the Standard option because I lived in Orlando, Florida while my husband was deployed. I am unsure if it mattered what type of Tricare I had and whether that determined if the surgery was suitable or covered by them. The first step I took in my second attempt for the breast reduction was to make an appointment to see my Primary Care Provider at my local Military Treatment Center (MTF). The meeting time with the doctor was fairly quick, he either knew from the beginning what I was looking to do or he just didn't want to sit around and chat about it. He brought a female nurse in, peeked at the grooves in my shoulders, and wrote up a referral to see the surgeon off post for a consultation. He prescribed Motrin in the meantime, probably as a formality, and then left.

​As I was about to leave, he asked for my bra size and when I told him, he was sure that I would qualify for the surgery based off of my weight and bra size (I was 140lbs/64kg). I left the clinic with immediate relief that I wasn't crazy for thinking I needed something like this.

​As soon as I got to my car, I called the hospital they suggested I would see the surgeon at which was the St. Anna Krankenhaus (Hospital) in Sulzbach-Rosenberg, Germany. This hospital was a 57 minute drive from my home but apparently, Dr. Dodenhoeft is probably the only doctor who does this procedure that Tricare works with. I made the appointment with the nurse and that was it. No confirmation via phone call reminders or email, such as I am used to. I had to wait over 2 months for that initial appointment with Dr. Dodenhoeft that as the consultation approached, I almost forgot the date and time they wanted to see me! When I DID see him, I was maybe in his office for 10-15 minutes. After filling out some paperwork, I was brought into his office. He asked me what I was there for, quickly showed me some before and after pictures, took my measurements, took pictures, and then practically said his people will talk to my people. What he really said was that he would type up his notes from the session, send it to my insurance, someone will translate it, they will make a determination and we will go from there, but he assured me that this will certainly be approved.

I didn't know what to do after that, was someone going to call me? Was I supposed to call someone? Who do I contact? Maybe I was just still in shock that it confused me. I probably made it more complicated than it really was, to be honest. I ended up going back to my MTF to inquire on what the next step was which apparently was to make another appointment with my Primary Care Provider for another referral to see Dr. Dodenhoeft again.

I had no idea how the referral system worked, I didn't realize we had to go back and forth to get approvals on seeing the doctor off post. The appointment with my Primary Care Provider was quick and simple. Another referral was made which I received about 2 weeks later due to the Government Shutdown. 

When I received my referral, I knew I had to make another appointment to see Dr. Dodehoeft and so I did. The phone call was what left me so shocked. When I called, I was scheduling my Pre Op and actual surgery date. In that hospital, they do the Pre Op one day before the actual operation. I was just thinking how everything was moving so fast now! I asked the nurse what I needed to know prior to the Pre Op day and she just said "We will tell you everything you need to know when you come for your Pre-operation appointment".

I am the type of person who needs to be "in the know" of, I don't know, my own life. I've never had any type of surgery so not knowing what to do in the time before the surgery to prepare, drove me nuts. It wasn't up until the week of the surgery that I freaked out thinking I wasn't prepared enough so the first thing I did was clean the house like a mad woman!

Pre Operation Day

Boy,  was I nervous. I didn't know what to expect but we did a lot of waiting around at the hospital. My husband believed the set up, the organization, and communication was somewhat poor, and I can agree with him on that because he knows more about hospitals than I do. I was introduced to another doctor on the team who drew some blood, went over the procedure, possible outcomes, and what to expect the day of the surgery. After speaking to this doctor, it all sunk in that I was actually doing this and there's no going back. After that, I spoke with the anesthesiologist which freaked me out even more! 

I am not the one who likes to see blood, or needles, or know that I'm going to have a breathing tube down my throat and it might cause damage to my teeth. All I could think about that night was the breathing tube malfunctioning during the surgery and a tooth breaking, falling into my throat causing blockage in my airway somehow and then me dying. This is just one of the many, unrealistic, scenarios I played out in my head that night. It sucked.

Not me but I imagine this is what the operating room was looking like during my procedure

Operation day and the Results

I woke up at 5:30AM not knowing what time the surgery would be because they didn't tell me, I just assumed it would be around 7am because that was when they "thought" it might be at. Of course, we get there at 7am but it doesn't start until hours later.

They walked me into the room I would be staying overnight, which was a shared room with an older German woman. I was told to undress and wear a hospital gown and to just wait. No estimated time which drove me nuts as the minutes and then hours passed by. About 40 minutes before the operation, they gave me a "chill pill", as they said. It was Valium and it didn't do anything good for me. If anything, it made my anxiety far worse. I just cried, and cried (ok, not hysterically, just very teary eyes) because I was so scared of the consequences of what I was about to do. 

Side note: Listen, I am the worst type of patient. If you're a nurse reading this about me, you do not want me in your hospital or clinic. I shamelessly admit that I am the worst. 

As they rolled me away in my bed, I said bye to my husband, and continued to freak myself out until we got into the operation room. The team was so kind to me although they knew how bad I was at dealing with the situation. They tried to make me laugh (which they did) and somehow the conversation about traveling came up (they must've know that would calm me down) and asked me "sooo, where was the last place you traveled to?" and before I can finish saying Portuga- I was already asleep.

I slowly woke up, peaked over at the clock and from my calculations, the operation lasted 4 hours and then I was in the recovery room for another 2 hours. While I was laying in the bed, looking at the clock, I felt something unusual in my private area. I'm unsure of what type of pain meds were in my IV but I actually didn't feel any pain, just some very slight discomfort. I moved my legs around and realized that I had a bladder catheter still inside of me! I was unaware that I would have that catheter in me and that it wouldn't be taken out until later the next day. I didn't freak out, but I was bothered after the fact that I had to get it removed while I was fully awake and that no one had mentioned that to me during the pre operation appointment. 

After the recovery room, I was rolled back into my room where my husband was waiting for me. I don't really remember much other than receiving my dinner and throwing up all over my food after I ate it. Apparently, it's common to throw up after the anesthesia leaves your body. I'm unsure why the nurses didn't have a bag ready for me if they knew that would most likely happen. After that, I was given "pain meds" and went to sleep.

That first night sucked because I kept waking up in the middle of night wanting to move but I knew I had to stay laying on my back. When I was fully awake the next morning, I could start feeling the pain, somewhat of a burning sensation. I realized I had two drains, on each side of the breasts and to my surprise, there was more blood than I expected. The nurses pulled the catheter out in the afternoon this day. It wasn't the best feeling but it wasn't anything too crazy, just really uncomfortable.

The third day I was in the hospital, I was going mad. I continued to ask the nurses and doctors every time they checked up on me, when I would leave because I was going crazy there. I must say though, the food was really good! The food was the only reason I didn't want to leave but knew I had to. The third day was when they decided to take the drains out and even though they said it wouldn't hurt, IT DID. Not discomfort, but pain. I admit that I did yelp during the process and whined about it afterwards. On this day, they also relieved me from the surgical bra and have been braless since. It feels great.

Finally, the next day I was released just after noon time. The doctor gave me some instructions, just basically to not lift, or let the wounds get wet. She gave me more "pain meds" to take home, the same pills I was receiving every day I was in the hospital which turns out to just be ibuprofen... I mean, I wasn't in excruciating pain, but from other experiences, even experiences from my colleague who had the same doctor, everyone else was receiving strong pain relievers. Now, although I am proud to say that I wasn't in so much pain that all they gave me was ibuprofen, I WAS expecting to go home and knock out and stay asleep for a good part of my recovery. But, Ibuprofen will do I suppose! 

Today is one week post operation and I think I've been healing quite well. Sleeping sucks still but it's just something I'll have to get used for some time until I'm good to sleep on my side again. Yesterday, I took a walk with my husband and just had to walk very slow and at some points hold onto them because if they giggle, I can feel the discomfort. 

The results... are perfect! I was so afraid to look at my set of new boobs because I knew it would have scarring, bruises, and dry blood so I avoided looking for 3 days but when I looked at them, I felt even more happy that I made this decision! I immediately felt the weight lifted off of my shoulders (see what I did there). The procedure also included a breast tightening so they look very natural with some volume, I look like 16 years had been taken off of my body and I'm not complaining!

Final Thoughts

I am thankful that I've been able to take 3 weeks off of work to stay home and heal. I'm also lucky to have my husband here with me for 2 weeks because without him, I wouldn't been able to properly bathe myself, or cook, or drive, or lay down in bed without being in some type of discomfort and sometimes pain!

To be honest, prior to the procedure, I freaked myself out numerous times because of how bad it would "hurt" afterwards but it truly wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Yes, I had some very uncomfortable and slightly painful moments (for example, pulling the catheters and drains out) but they don't amount to the years of pain and insecurity I had from having excessively larger breasts (excessively for my body size).

I also want to mention that for the last 6 years I had been wanting to do this surgery, I was also afraid that I wouldn't like who I would become after the surgery and that I would miss having my big breasts. For the longest time, I was unsure if this was the "right" thing to do. Now that it's been a week (not nearly as long as a lifetime, but still) I know I'm 1,000% sure that this was what I needed to do for my body and my health both physically and mentally. 

To close this post, I want to remind everyone that this experience can be so different for each person. This may or may not be something you need so I recommend to do more reliable research and consult with your doctor about this. I truly hope that if you are on the fence about seeking help, hopefully this will do the job.

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